So despite this being my second week I really did a lot of firsts this week. This week was the first time I had a pear. (It tasted like a green apple to me but everyone said that pears taste like pears... I think I've had pears in those fruit mixes before but I can't quite think about what pear tastes like outside of juicy pear jelly bellys) It was the first time that I realized that my room mates have never seen Star Wars, Indiana Jones, or Back to the Future. (I was in shock for most of the day) This week was the first time that I had my branch president bring me Subway at 9:30 at night. This was the first week that our district got 18 packages in five days. (none of them were mine, but that's okay because most of the packages were food and we have WAY to much food. (Please don't send me food, they feed us fine here, thank you thought for the though)) This was my first week that I was sick at the MTC. This was the first week I got a letter. (Shout out to my Grandma Elton for that honor.) And most importantly this was the first week that I asked someone besides my dad for a priesthood blessing.
You're probably wondering why that's important. Obviously I would have to ask someone besides my dad since he's not at the MTC, what's the big deal? Well it's a kind of long story but it really defined my week so I hope you're all ready for this.
See the key word in the sentence wasn't 'besides'... it was 'ask'.
I started out this week feeling alone and homesick. I was feeling bewildered and mildly alone, because I seemed to be the only one missing home. I just kept crying and I was trying so hard to present a happy image that every time I failed I felt horrible. After P-day I woke up on Tuesday with a mild sore throat and the beginnings of a cold. But all through Tuesday I just kept on praying for strength and comfort and after several spiritual experiences and a devotional I started to feel better emotionally/spiritually I felt hopeful as I went to bed that night that I would be able to go through the next day without feeling like I was fighting the whole way just to feel calm. And then I woke up Wednesday with a horrible headache and a throat so sore I couldn't talk for the first hour of the day. I slept though Gym time and determinedly set forth to do my study for the morning half of the day. By lunch I felt like I was going to pass out on my plate but we had a lesson to teach that night and I was really excited for it I really wanted to go but after lunch a few minutes into scheduled class time Ge Laoshi sent me back to the dorms where I slept from 2:00 til just after dinner when Sister Hughes and Sister Roberts came to check on us at 5:00 I woke up feeling great (not perfect, but strong enough to teach.) So we taught our lesson and it was the best one yet! I was super excited. But as the day really started to wind down sister Erickson kept urging me to get a blessing. Every time she asked I just shrugged and told her I would get through it. I always did so I would be fine. I just didn't think that my ordeal warranted a blessing. However she believed otherwise, she believed so strongly that she went and talked to our branch president. The thing was though that she'd been urging me to get a blessing since the second day. She firmly believed that a blessing would help my homesickness but I kept turning her down. So by the time I got sick she was fed up with me.
It was after the day was and we were just preparing to leave back to our rooms that President Newel showed up. He asked me how I was doing and I told him I was doing much better my physical ailment was nearly gone and I was feeling so much stronger emotionally that I felt wonderful in contrast to the last eight days. I did mention though that my companion had missed dinner because of me and we were just going to eat the cookies and other assorted foodstuffs that have collected in our rooms over the last several days. He looked at his watch and then at the two of us and offered to get us something to eat... We both excitedly said yes to what I'm sure was a once in a lifetime offer. When he brought us back the best sandwich I had ever tasted he asked me about a blessing. I looked at him bewildered. I was feeling better, there was no need for a blessing now that the rough patch had passed. He asked me how often I had asked for blessing before I and shrugged and told him not often... He told me to repent.
The next day I couldn't stop thinking about it by the time we were in our evening class it had consumed my mind. Finally I asked Mi LaoShi if he had a testimony of the priesthood he held and he pulled me out of the class room to ask me in English why I was crying. I broke down and all the thoughts and realizations came rushing out.
You see when I was little my dad was the bishop and he'd often come home with these amazing stories about the power of priesthood blessings and the great acts of healing and help they could provide. But somewhere along the way I started to believe that those things were the only things the priesthood was used for, the great things. I didn't ask my dad for a blessing for my pain from my appendix until I asked him to take me to the hospital and the hospital question came first. Somewhere along the way I started to believe that I wasn't worth priesthood blessings and that belief had followed me into the MTC. Worse yet, I was worried that me asking for one would be akin to testing God. I worried that if I didn't get a miraculous miracle from a blessing outside of a Father's blessing that I would just never ask for one again. I also felt like I should be able to get through it alone. That's why I decided I could go on a mission right? Because I was strong enough to deal with the challenges?
My teacher let me cry and then he bore a powerful and personal testimony of MY worth and about the power of priesthood. He shared with me the scripture of Romans 8:31-46 and they spoke to my soul... The next day after a long personal prayer with God I asked for a blessing and received peace to my soul.
I have something now that I didn't have last week. Isn't that an amazing concept. I am already growing and it's only day 13. I have such a testimony of prayer, of how God answers prayers and I'm so very grateful for all that He has done for me.
I hope you all have amazing week's and I can't wait to tell you all how I've grown next week. Until then,
God be with you,
-Sister Savannah Skinner
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